Wow, it’s just too hard to absorb such things. The last thing i know, i was just a kid running around the streets, playing chinese garter and piko with my childhood friends. And now, i’m already 18. A young adult. Oh wait, i still can’t swallow the thought, “Young adult”.
Looking back, i can say that I’ve been through a lot. My parents squabbled every now then. My mom went abroad when i was 2, while i was left with my dad, my lola and my aunt. The three of them raised me and gave me the greatest definition of family. They gave me everything that i need and sometimes, it’s more than enough. My parents broke up when i was 11, my mom stayed abroad, re-married and bore 2 children and my father got 2 children as well. Late 2016, i lost my best friend from cancer and looking at her while she lays on the coffin, her eyes closed with no sign of breathe, trust me, it is one of the most painful things in the world.
Oh well, that’s life. I guess as time passes by, you just learned to accept that there are things in this world that you cannot change but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it stop hurting or you forgot about it. Sometimes, you just have to accept that not every problem has a definite solution, sometimes leaving it unsolved and accepting that you cannot do anything about it are the best choices that you can have.
I have a lot of friends, trusted friends whom i can always count on. And I have always been one of the boys. Actually, my first friend is a boy. Maybe it’s because i was raised by my dad that trusting guys isn’t that hard, i’m actually comfortable with them that there are times when they already forgot that i’m still a girl. Trust me, being one of the boys is one of the most fun things in this world. It’s like having a little brother to argue with, an older brother to protect you, a father to support you and an instant boyfriend.
Maybe, that’s one of the things that i can say i’m lucky enough to have. I have friends who care for me when i can’t even give a damn about myself and never gets tired of listening to my rants and loving me for who I am. So for everyone, keep your friends close. Nourish them with love and care as you guys conquer the world of growing up, having them around is one of the most comfortable and a kind of relief way of living in this world full of chaos.
Let’s not forget about the romantic part; I have been in-love and got my heart broken for four times and honestly, it’s tiring doing the same thing over and over again. Loving someone, giving them all you’ve got, taking what it takes and you’ll still end up being miserable. However, love and relationships are part of growing up. We don’t have any choice but to deal with it.
Growing up is hard. You tend to question your beliefs, your environment, the people around you and even yourself. There are times when you just want to give things up and just let everything fall apart because it’s already exhausting to even try hard to fight for the things you’ve always fight for. And the only answer to this, is running away from everything and starting a new life.
There are also times when you feel like you can conquer the world. The rushing feelings on your system that says you got everything in place, you got everything controlled. You feel invincible and no one could stop you.
There are times when you wake up in the morning, feeling blue while you drag yourself out of the bed, living a life of grayish tones. Letting everything pass by without giving enough attention. This is the time when nothing becomes a feeling.
These are all parts of growing up. As our emotions changes, our lives do as well. And it’s too mainstream to say this but, you just have to keep up with the waves.
In the past 18 years, i have always been keeping a list of the things that i have learned from life. So this is a piece of advice:
Enjoy every moment of your life. From the dragging yourself out of the bed to the rushing feeling of euphoria. Enjoy it. Let it sink into the deepest parts of you. Spend more time with your family and friends, laugh with them, share stories with them. For everything in this world is temporary, you don’t know when they’ll be gone so as long as you still have the chance, tell them how much you love them and make them feel how you do.
Do everything you have always wanted to do and never let fears stop you. Like what i always say, It is better to live a life full of oh wells, than to live a life full of what ifs. For time is one of the most precious things in the world, because you can never go back to that same moment for everything changes so quick.
But mostly, never rush anything. Specially, growing up. It is a systematic process. You have to experience playing on the streets and suffer from too early curfew hours to hanging out with your friends on the bar and staying up all night. You have to go with the process and let it help you mature. For life is not always about who comes first, sometimes it is about who enjoyed the journey the most.
Another gate has opened for me. Another set of chances, happiness and misfortunes. There are more to this life more than we ever know, and i guess it is our responsibility to give life a meaning on our own. Cheers to Legality!